Thursday, 4 April 2013

A Qingming Joke :-)

Today is the Qingming Festival 清明节, aka Tomb-Sweeping Day.

With the advent of new technology, someone called Clover Ngau has seen the funny side of what is normally a solemn, Chinese version of the Catholic All Souls Day or Mexican Day of the Dead.

I just had to reproduce Clover's original joke (or perhaps it's a true story) in Chinese with my translation into English because it deserves a wider audience.

清明节到了,我去买祭品,看到既然有扎的iPhone,我问老板酱先进,祖宗会不会用?他说Steve Jobs都亲自下去教了,担心什么?
Qingming had arrived. I went to buy paper offerings for my dead relatives, and came across some paper iphones. I discussed how advanced technology had become with the shopkeeper, and asked the shopkeeper how could he know if my ancestors knew how to use iphones, and he replied, 'Steve Jobs has already made his way to the World Below to teach them personally, so why are you worried?'

我选了一个,刚要转身走时; So I picked a paper iphone, and was about to leave, when -

Shopkeeper: Get a case for it, or else it'll get scratched.
Me: Sure.

Shopkeeper: Go on, get a Bluetooth earpiece too. The World Below has recently introduced strict new traffic rules, and your ancestors will be arrested if they drive and use a mobile phone at the same time.
Me: Good point...

Shopkeeper: Don't forget the most important thing - a charger, because if the iphone runs out of juice, it wouldn't be best if your ancestors ask you for a charger. Them coming back to look you up will be the least of your worries, because you'll be in big trouble if they ask you to personally go down to the World Below to replace it.

Me: All right... give me one of your business cards.
Shopkeeper: What do you want my business card for?
Me: I'm going to burn it with all my paper offerings. If the things you sold me don't work, my ancestors can come and look you up themselves!

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