Thursday, 4 April 2013

A Qingming Joke :-)

Today is the Qingming Festival 清明节, aka Tomb-Sweeping Day.

With the advent of new technology, someone called Clover Ngau has seen the funny side of what is normally a solemn, Chinese version of the Catholic All Souls Day or Mexican Day of the Dead.

I just had to reproduce Clover's original joke (or perhaps it's a true story) in Chinese with my translation into English because it deserves a wider audience.

清明节到了,我去买祭品,看到既然有扎的iPhone,我问老板酱先进,祖宗会不会用?他说Steve Jobs都亲自下去教了,担心什么?
Qingming had arrived. I went to buy paper offerings for my dead relatives, and came across some paper iphones. I discussed how advanced technology had become with the shopkeeper, and asked the shopkeeper how could he know if my ancestors knew how to use iphones, and he replied, 'Steve Jobs has already made his way to the World Below to teach them personally, so why are you worried?'

我选了一个,刚要转身走时; So I picked a paper iphone, and was about to leave, when -

老板:买手机套吧,不然容易割花.
Shopkeeper: Get a case for it, or else it'll get scratched.
我:好
Me: Sure.

老板:买个蓝牙耳机吧,最近下面有新的交通规矩,开车打电话抓得严.
Shopkeeper: Go on, get a Bluetooth earpiece too. The World Below has recently introduced new traffic rules, and you can't drive and use a mobile phone at the same time anymore.
我:好…
Me: Good point...

老板:最重要还要买充电器啊,不然电话没电时,祖宗找你要充电器就不好了,只是找你要还是小事,叫你送下去就麻烦了.
Shopkeeper: Don't forget the most important thing - a charger, because if the iphone runs out of juice, your ancestors won't be too pleased. Them coming back to look you up will be the least of your worries, because you'll be in big trouble if they ask you to personally go down to the World Below to replace it.

我:好…顺便你的名片也给我一张.
Me: All right... give me one of your business cards.
老板:要我名片干嘛?
Shopkeeper: What do you want my business card for?
我:一起烧给祖宗啊,他们东西有什么坏了可以直接找你修!
Me: I'm going to burn it with all my paper offerings. If the things you sold me don't work, my ancestors can come and look you up themselves!

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